Teen Topic #41:  How much input are you comfortable with your parents having at your endo appointments? When should parents back off when speaking to the doctor, and when should they step in?

Jordan (age 18)
I think it’s good to hear the perspective of my parents during the appointments.  It really helps me understand all that they do for me with my diabetes. I don’t think they should be pushy, and they should let me control it a little more each time as it will soon be my job to do it for myself.

Ian (age 14)
I think that my parents don’t really overstep their boundaries at endocrinologist visits. But the #1 thing is to know that you can ask what you want to ask, but don’t correct your child or try to lead the endocrinologist away from saying something, or try to change your child’s mind on something.

Ashley B. (age 15)
I think that as your kid gets older, they should be the ones talking to their endo about their care. If there’s something that the teenager hasn’t been taught (like basals and blood sugar trends), then it would be all right for the parent to step in.

Lexi (age 15)
One thing I hate about going to my endo appointments are the A1Cs, but besides that everything (well mostly everything :P) goes smoothly

Mercedes (age 16)
I think it all depends on each person and each endo doctor. Some families/ kids might want their parents being there for all of it, but some might only want some. Each person is different.

Laura (age 16)
I feel like my mom can give as much input as she wants as long I can, too. I think she has just as many questions and concerns as I do.

Claire (age 17)
I think until the child is 18, then the parent can give as much input as they want. However, that is not an invitation to go overboard considering that this is our disease, and our life.

Erin (age 17)
My parents do most of the talking because I don’t like going to endo appointments.

Cameron (age 17)
The way I see it, I have no problem with them having input. If I had it my way, they’d say everything, because endo appointments are the death of me. I really don’t like them.

Ashley C. (age 14)
My mom does most of the talking at my endo appointments because I shut down when I go to my appointments. I shut down because I get told how wrong I’m doing my diabetes every time I go there. Like recently I went to my appointment and I lowered my A1C a WHOLE point and I was very proud of myself but no one congratulated me, they only told me what I was doing wrong and took me off my pump. So in return I got upset and shut down.
Vanessa (age 15)
I feel as if it’s good to have your parent in the room because there could be some things that you forget, or you want their input in, too. But there are also times where parents kind of need to step out. And as that goes I feel that’s just a personal decision and whatever you prefer.

Andrew (age 14)
Personally, I’m comfortable with my parents adding their input during my Endo appointments, as much as they feel necessary.  If they make a comment I disagree with, I can state my disagreement and we can talk it through. However, in general, parents do need to back off at certain points during our Endo appointments. A key time for them to back off is when we’re talking about our personal experiences or goals. If I were to say that I want to get my numbers between 100 and 120 at least 10 times a week it’s not my parents place to add feedback on that, rather they should work to support that goal. On the other hand, parents are ultimately responsible for our overall well-being. If there is a specific issue affecting my overall health, I think it’s appropriate for my parents to step into the conversation. For example, if your A1C is at an unhealthy range, it’s appropriate for your parents to step into that conversation and work with you and your Endo to create a plan to help correct that.
Nick (age 19)
Honestly, if my parents didn’t bring issues up, I never would have. I’m a bit of an introvert, and nervous about raising complaints. I’d say as long as the questions or comments are legitimate concerns, it should be fine.

Anna (age 15)
I am comfortable with my parents having as much input at my endo appointments as they want. The only thing I ask is when my dr. is talking to me, let me answer for myself first. After that if they want to ask a question or make a comment that’s fine.

Josh (age 18)
I think parents should have a say in their T1 child’s endo appointments most definitely because sometimes parents see things we don’t. I’m almost 19 years old, and my mom still has a big say come endo time! I think parents should start to step back and let us start taking the reins around 16. As long as good Diabetes care is taking place, of course.

Skylyn (age 16)
I would say at endo appointments my parents and I have about equal say and input. I would say that they should probably back off if the doctor asks about my numbers at school or anything else that involves my diabetes at school. My parents are not there at school when I am testing and bolusing so they wouldn’t really know exactly what’s going on. My parents should step in when the doctor is asking about my BG numbers during the night. I am asleep and don’t wake up when my parents test my BG in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t really know how to answer the doctor’s question.

Jessica (age 20)
I personally don’t like my parents having much input at my endo appointments. This is due to the fact that they aren’t living in my day-to-day life (especially since I am in college). I think that as one approaches the teenage years and starts to venture out more on their own, gaining more independence, parents should start to back off at the appointments. This is partly because when reaching adulthood parents aren’t going to be attending every appointment (or they shouldn’t be), but also, they have less knowledge about the feelings and daily hardships their kids face. Therefore, I feel as though my parents can’t communicate or contribute as much. However, this is not to say that I don’t ask them to remind me of things or to mention things. I think one of the most important aspects about T1D and endo appointments is communication – talking with your child (or parents) before the appointment sets up ground rules and boundaries about what needs to be expressed and how to do so. I find that this leaves me less frustrated at the end of the doctor visit, while, for the most part, keeping my parents content.

Julia (age 14)
I’m comfortable with my parents talking to my doctor as much as they feel necessary during my appointments. They have a big part in managing my diabetes so if they have questions they should ask them. But if the doctor asks me a question personally, then I should be able to answer without my parents’ input.





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